Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
