Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize