he shaved USA in his pubs
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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