That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
