You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
