Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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