yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
