And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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