Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better