Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.