Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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