Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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