So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
