Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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