Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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