Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
so much tequila, so little girl.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
