WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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