Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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