i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
In America we eat man semen.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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