I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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