I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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