I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
