Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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