Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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