well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
