He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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