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• (903): View more from Texas

  Your vagain smells worse when im sober.

  (903): View more from Texas

  sorry, worng number

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• (206): View more from Washington

  There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.

  Fav 43 4984 1466

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?

  Fav 14 3880 1926

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.

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• (516): View more from New York

  you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.

  (1-516): View more from New York

  right. well we all have our lows.

  Fav 4 1360 1642

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(

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• (714): View more from California

  Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?

  Fav 2 622 391

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.

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• (646): View more from New York

  I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.

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