When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
