No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think people are normalizing furries
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
