Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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