Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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