4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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