Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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