He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
