she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
