why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
