it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
