Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i believe in u and ur pee
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