I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
