Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
