Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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