I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
