did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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