areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize