she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Panties = found
Randomize
