i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
