I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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