I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we're making bets on your personal life
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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