It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
