UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
