the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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