So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
