dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
