i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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