we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
