sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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