next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
