I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
