Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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