i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
