All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she looked like the before picture.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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