If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
