wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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