Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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